Tuesday, 26 April 2011

Ground Control to Major Tom....

Wow, this is my first ever ever ever blog post. I've been online for over 11 years now and have never had a blog. I must be such a n00b l0lz0rz r0fl and so on and so f0rth. Basically until now I've never really had much to say, and anything I DID want to say would be clouded by 3 bottles of cheap wine and some sort of rejection (whether from a boy or from a nightclub.. although the nightclub would usually be EJEction). Okay enough weirdness:

Now I'm being incredibly sensible and settled down, old age has caught up with me. Not really old age, I have some weird mystery illness that makes it difficult to walk. So going to the North West's deepest, darkest metal clubs in skyscraper heels is now off my agenda. Most of my time is spent at home with my fiancé and my cat (I have no doubt she will feature quite prominently in future, even though I can't sell her on Etsy.. not that I tried.. or Ebay.. or Craigsli..*ahem* you get the idea...)

I make jewellery. Personally, I think it's pretty awesome but I'll let you be the judge of that! My store can be found here!

As an Etsy seller, I've started becoming a bit frustrated and jaded with the way Etsy promotes things in their emails and on the front page. 99% of items featured are in front of a startlingly white background. The item in question is probably wispy and gauzey and completely impractical for an actual real person. Models are all attractive and are probably gazing wistfully at a fixed gear bike and skinny jeans off camera. 

Enough! I am none of these things. I don't know about you but I'm fat and sassy. I don't own an amazingly pure white wall anywhere in my house because I do not live in an asylum (yet). I make jewellery that you can actually wear without people calling the authorities! And I've been completely unsuccessful at luring in a hipster to model for me, even after baiting my trap with those nice black glasses they like AND some Pabst Blue Ribbon. 

I am going to review things I like. I don't care about backgrounds or how your picture is the most in focus picture I have ever seen IN MY LIFE. It's all down to actual artistic merit of what you're selling. If you're item is awesome, I'll feature it. 

P.S - sorry if you have pure white walls, they're probably really nice walls. Go walls!

P.P.S If you pose your Etsy items on the back of a dog or something, I probably won't feature it because that's pretty gross. Unless it's a doggy coat. But you know what I mean, no ickyness!

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