Thursday, 16 June 2011

That Damn Cat

Hello ladles and jellyspoons! Today's blog is going to be a giant image dump of the best cat in the world, Boo. Mainly because she's decided to start napping with me again (yay!), and also because quite frankly the world needs more Boo. A lot more. 

So here we go...

First of all, I would like to dispel any rumours that Boo has any dignity whatsoever. Because she doesn't. You think this is bad? I've seen her eat her own poop. FROM HER BUTTFUR. (lolz whats a buttfur.. fur pooping silly! Oh my god that's awful, I'm sorry) She is also a big fan of trashy celebrity magazines like OK and Hello! They're definitely not mine. Bloody cat. Boo can also be seen in close proximity to some of her other favourite things, i.e. cables. Boo loves her some cables. Especially daddy's expensive DJ headphone cables. Oops. 

This is sullen emo Boo. Lying in bed, no doubt thinking of some really deep and meaningful My Chemical Romance lyrics and wondering why life is so unfair. If only she had opposable thumbs to write in a journal.  And it's not because I won't buy her a pony because she has a giant pony that she sometimes sleeps on. I think life as a cat is just a bit tiring sometimes. Also pictured, is her best friend Monsieur Plisken. Like his namesake, I think he only has one eye left now as well. Because Boo ate the other. She also ate both the eyes of the original Monsieur Plisken. It's like raising a tiny Hannibal Lecter.

The Gang Gets a New Member! And it is Boo. Boo has previously shown no interest in It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, however I think Charlie's strange affinity for cats is working its magic on her. Should we get her some kitten mittons? Who is more badass, Boo or Special Agent Jack Bauer the junkyard cat? Can Boo actually flatten herself and slip through the seams in the wall? Was Boo also born in a pool of gasoline on a sheet of rusty metal? If you don't watch It's Always Sunny, then this will all be lost on you. And SHAME ON YOU SIR. SHAME! 

AAAH! EYES! Now imagine waking up to this, 4 bony little paws sinking between your ribs, hot tuna breath whistling across your cheeks then BAM! EYES. All up in your grill. What is even scarier is when she does this in the dark, and all you can see is shadow.. and I wake up, freaking out and screaming AAAH BATMAN! Because lets be fair here, a pointy eared cat shadow does look a LOT like Batman... *ahem* You can also see in the distance, Boo's "sleepin' on" pony. Unfortunately she then gets stuck up there and cries until we help her down. Worst cat ever.

Monday, 13 June 2011

Poop Bear

What is up bitches! Yes, sorry, I know.. I should be coming to you, cap in hand saying "I'm so sorry for deserting my blog for almost 2 weeks while I was off doing God knows what, possibly sky diving from a plane into a moving car and driving off to Monte Carlo where I won a fortune, hijacked a yacht and foiled international jewel thieves". I guess the sorry part is true? The rest, not so much. In reality, I got blood tests, let someone take x rays of my brain and didn't poop for like.. a week. Is that TMI? Possibly. But oh man, it sucks when that happens. Now I know why grizzly bears are so grumpy and maul people all the time when they're coming out of hibernation. They haven't pooped since like.. October, and now it's May. Obviously that's completely made up.. I have no idea when bears go into hibernation. 

Okay so I intended this to be my "DUN DUN DUNN! DR WHO KIND OF FINALE BLOG", but I'm going to be posting that later as I have the energy of something not very energetic right now. This is not related to the poop. 

So, where have I been? Umm.. I've been in my house, with occasional trips to the supermarket, the hospital and the doctors surgery. Life has NOT been exciting. I won't harp on about being ill, but let's just say that whatever "Mystery Illness" I have, it best come with one simple tablet to make it all better. Because I can't go on not functioning like this. I never thought I'd get upset about not working, and not being a travel agent but yep, I'm pretty bummed. There's something else you didn't know about me, I used to be a travel agent. Granted it was only for a year but it was a pretty kickass job and I learned so much. My speciality was the U.S.A, specifically the West Coast, NYC and Orlando. You wanna party on the Strip? You come to me. Except not now, because I'm not a travel agent any more :( 

Moping aside, have you seen Katy Perry's new video for Last Friday Night? Oh man I love it. And so many retro stars! I might have actually said "HOLY SHIT A COREY!" at one point. I *think* it's Corey Feldman because I'm pretty sure Corey Haim is dead. I could be making that up though. No, I just checked, he's dead. And looks like an anorexic George Clooney in his Wikipedia picture. Weird. I also love Katy's hair in this, I'm gonna be spending all weekend locked in a room with my crimpers and hairspray and root boost oh my! If you haven't already, go check out the "Kathy Beth Terry" videos, they might explain a bit more about what's actually going on! 

So I think that's about it. I'll be getting back to my usual "Blahblahblah stuff about a thing blahblah here's some Etsy stuff Dr Who blahblah" in the next couple of days hopefully. Although I may have to watch the Dr Who almost kind of finale episode again! Byebye :)