No Metal in the MRI Death Tube

*** Okay first of all, I'm really sorry to have to do this guys but: I'm struggling to pay my Etsy fees at the moment, even though they're only about $40/£20. Basically if I don't pay them, my store is gonna close! I would love it if we could all help each other out, you get some awesome jewelry, I get to keep my store open! My store is here: chicgeek82's awesome store of wonderment and if you buy ANYTHING from me, you can get 20% off with the code ECC20. Right, now that unpleasantness is done with, back to your regularly scheduled weirdness ***

Ugh. I have to go for a brain scan MRI type dealie in 2 weeks. I know exactly what you're thinking "ha, I hope they find a brain in there!". Yes, very good, I'm hoping the same thing! Did I ever mention that I'm extremely claustrophobic and if I can't immediately spread my arms and legs into a starfish shape then I freak out and can't breathe? Because of a previous MRI when I was a kid, back when MRI tubes were long and dark and scary. With no music. And here's the best part... my MRI as a child was done on the back of a truck. Honest to God. On the back of a truck. Isn't that the most technologically advanced trailer trash thing you ever heard? "Y'all come back now, we be doin' dialysis next week ya hear?" 

Now imagine how much I'm looking forward to this procedure. Not to mention the fact that this time I'm an adult so I get to lie there freaking out going "Oh god I bet I have a brain tumour the size of Milwaukee" or "I don't think I ever got a shard of metal in my eye, but what if I did? What if it slipped past me? MY EYE IS GOING TO POP OUT!".

None of this is even remotely rational right? And yet, these are the thoughts that required some Valium at 3am this morning. Nothing else helped, not even constantly chanting "Tony Soprano had an MRI in the first episode of The Sopranos, and he is a giant sweaty mob boss. You are not. You will not get stuck in the tube."  That just lead into another cycle of worrying that maybe all the sweatiness and sausage grease helped him slide into the tube. Mob boss lube. That's right, I spent at least 10 minutes contemplating James Gandolfini's greased up man boobs this morning. This isn't the behaviour of a normal person. Just so we're clear -
I AM FREAKING OUUUUUUT YOU GUUUUUUYS

Ok so my emotional problems aside, here's the main reason for the post. In my little "hey you, come get in this tube for an hour" letter, they said that I can take a CD with me to listen to while I'm gnawing my face off in terror. My immediate reaction was "who the hell still has CD's?" Then I realised I own about 4 CD's that actually still play. 

1) Steel Panther - Feel the Steel
2) Iron Maiden - Number of the Beast
3) Iron Maiden - Somewhere Back in Time
4) The Who - Greatest Hits 

I can't take Steel Panther, the lyrics are so rude that I would be lying in the death tube giggling to myself about how naughty it all was.

I can't take Iron Maiden because obviously they rock too damn much and you can't play air guitar in a death tube.

Under no circumstances can I take The Who. I have a serious problem when it comes to The Who. Every time I hear the really kickass part of Baba O'Reilly, or Won't Get Fooled Again I get the urge to start kicking doors open like in the video for Sabotage by the Beastie Boys. This causes no end of issues if I try to watch CSI. 

I need your help guys. Please recommend me some music I can listen to that will 

a) Distract me from the horrifying predicament I'm in, and
b) Keep me somewhat calm, and won't encourage me to kick over equipment etc in a rock and roll frenzy! 

Leave me some comments with some recommendations you guys! Until then, check out these items from Etsy:

This Guitar Has Seconds To Live T Shirt

This shirt is brilliant! If there was one picture to sum up The Who, then I think this would be it (maybe more so if it featured shirtless Roger Daltrey. *ahem*). Very much recommended for any fan of The Who, or in fact, for fans of good music! 

Roger Daltrey Paperweight/Display Piece

Wayhey! It's Roger! And he's still got on that bloody fringed suede jacket. This paperweight is fantastic and something I wish I had had on my desk when I was working various soul crushing jobs. It's like fair enough you may be at work and it may suck but it's nearly home time and then you can rock really hard! Don't let the man bring you down and all that. Instead, I just slacked off and hid in the toilets a lot. 

Until next time true believers, Excelsior! 

You Mess With The Bull... You Get The Horns

Ladies! Who is your most dreamy, swoon-worthy 1980s Brat Pack crush? Is it:

A) Tom Cruise as Brian Flannagan (Cocktail)
B) John Cusack as Lloyd Dobler (Say Anything.. you know, the one with the boombox)
C) Patrick Swayze as Johnny Castle (Dirty Dancing) 
D) All of the above
E) None of the above

If you answered anything apart from E) None of the above, then you are WRONG. Awfully wrong and do not deserve the title of 80s Chick! (as an aside, if you are a lady who likes ladies, ignore this question because we all know the answer is Ally Sheedy. Meow.)

The only correct answer is of course - Rob Lowe as Billy Hicks (St Elmos Fire). 


Oh my God. Billy Hicks. I was about 8 years old when I saw St Elmos Fire for the first time and I was absolutely smitten. Also a bit confused about Ally Sheedy having sex in a shower while wearing pearls but that's for another day. Rob Lowe in that movie was basically sex on legs. Even when he was on stage playing the saxophone and was doing that really cheesy hand clap thing. And then he kisses Demi Moore (Jules) while she's sat on that jukebox, then fights a dude and kisses his bitch of a wife... *swoon* I always wanted Jules and Billy to get together, then he went and banged the frumpy one with the fat thighs. Incidentally, if anyone knows where I can buy a skirt like the one Jules wears at the big party? Hit me up. I need that skirt. 


Sadly, there are about 2 items related to St Elmos Fire on Etsy, so I'm going to talk about something relating to my number 2 ultimate 1980s crush. 

John Bender. Oh John Bender, you were so damn fine. Molly Ringwald was never good enough for you! Plus her face was kinda weird and that haircut was awful! You on the other hand were very pretty and had kind of odd grey coloured hair. Was that a thing in the 80s? Does anyone know? Either way, The Breakfast Club is still one of my all time favourite movies, I'll always be a little bit in love with John Bender, and I'll probably always cry at the end.

So.. after a slightly rambly post, here is my number one Etsy "The Breakfast Club" item! 

Breakfast Club 80s Retro Mini & Large Cassette Tape Clutch Set

Nothing says 80s more than tapes! Taaaapes! Remember them? Awful sound quality and the added bonus of having to rewind or fast forward to your favourite bits! But still, awesome nostalgia! And a tape of the ultimate 1980s movie soundtrack? I am in heaven.

I am a self confessed bag addict. And I 100% adore these bags. I originally looked at the sellers Clutch version of this, then found this two pack! If you're like me and carry around probably 10 times more stuff than you need, then you need a bag you can put a strap on. The large clutch can have D rings added specifically for you to put straps on. Then you can use the tiny clutch for either a change purse, or as a little bag for a fun night out. Oh! The best part? The inside is lined with cupcake fabric! Yummy cupcakes om nom nom! 

You really need to check out this sellers store, they have so many wicked 1980s tape clutches, with everything from Bon Jovi to Cyndi Lauper. They even have some retro Nintendo cartridge purses if you're into a bit of geekery!

Overall, here's my opinion of these clutches and this store: